Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the US. Today is the most hectic travel day all year. Just so much running around trying to get to a place, produce the perfect dinner, and then, poof, everyone is gone.
The ritual of Thanksgiving is superficially connected to gratitude, just as gratitude is superficially connected to a life of generosity. The lack of connection is found in the conversations that we will have tomorrow. Boring, tedious opinions about politics and world events. Catching up on what has happened since we last met. In many homes, the conversation is perfunctory and forgetful.
Let me suggest an alternative.
The Five Actions of Gratitude
Fifteen years ago, I gained some limited notoriety for a contest answer - Say Thanks Every Day. It was a thought logically conceived and offered in the spirit of the contest. Then I realized that if I won the contest, I would become the global face of gratitude. I wasn’t then. Even today, I have work to do.
As I reflected on the nature of gratitude, I saw it as another form of self-improvement intended to make us feel good about our lives. It represented by the idea of having a gratitude board to remind us to be grateful. It always felt inadequate to me. I realized that what was missing was action. If your gratitude board didn’t produce acts of gratitude and generosity, then what good is it? Really?
Out of this time of consideration came The Five Actions of Gratitude.
Say Thanks
Give Back
Make Welcome
Honor Others
Create Goodness
I traveled for a couple of years speaking about these five actions.
At some point tomorrow, as you gather for dinner, talk about these five actions. Here’s a frame for the discussion.
Ask:
Who are you thankful for and why?
What persons or institutions have you given back to because of what they have contributed to your life?
To “Make Welcome” is an act of inclusion. Where are you now included that presents the opportunity for contribution and impact?
Who should you honor by telling your story of their impact upon you?
What have you done creatively to make your world of direct engagement a better place?
I’m convinced that if we practiced these five actions and kept an account of the exercise of each, we would find our lives happier and more peaceful and our communities better off. We would see how our attachment to global crisis issues (The Spectacle of the Real) doesn’t provide an easy way to practice gratitude and even more become a generous person.
Now, if I was dining with you tomorrow, here is what I would share.
Thank you to the people of Cody, Wyoming for your appreciation and acceptance of me during my two months of service and engagement with you. Thank you to my The Eddy Network Podcast guests for your appreciation and conversations with me. Thank you to those of you who financially support my The Future of Leadership Substack.
I have had a long-standing commitment to give back to The Black Mountain Home and the ministers and churches of the Presbytery of Wyoming.
The members of First Presbyterian Church of Cody, Wyoming welcomed me as their substitute minister during their pastor’s sabbatical. It was a pleasure to serve in a role that I had not in a decade. Thank you for your friendship.
My list here is long. There are my family, especially my children, sisters, and cousins, and their families. My friends in North Wilkesboro are George, Greg, Michael, and Leslie. There are my friends who have supported me in my many endeavors, Reid, Drew, David, Steve, and Ken. There is the Friday group and all the people around the world with whom I share a common mission of leadership development.
Now, the question is what am I going to do to create goodness? What shape and form will my life take as a writer and conversationalist? What will generosity look like over the next year?
As you gather tomorrow, take a moment to reflect together on your lives. Seek to be grateful and find ways to be generous however you can.